the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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