And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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