I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
