I'm drive I can fine osifer
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
