Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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