Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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