I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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