is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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