I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
