D3 body, D1 cock
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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