I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
