I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
