im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Michael Bay diarrhea
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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