We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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