remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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