he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
