I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
