is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
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You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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