so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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