She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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