Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
