It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Send help, water and tortillas.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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