I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm just crazy horny about you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
