Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
