shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
