he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize