Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
