dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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