dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
