Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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