We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize