i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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