KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
