Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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