oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
