bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
