JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
only if we run a train.
done.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
