he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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