Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Me too!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
