she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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