More tranny stories later!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
