So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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