If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
