Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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