I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize