Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
