You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
