Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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