Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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