You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
