you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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