all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
