i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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