the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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