Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
