Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
