Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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