Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
