You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy