i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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