I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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